


iLove The Nub

by GracefullyWritten



Category: iCarly
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-06
Updated: 2010-07-05
Packaged: 2013-12-10 13:48:03
Rating: T
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,254
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5795283/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2111057/GracefullyWritten
Summary: Seddie. What else is there to say? T for a bit of language here and there, abuse, and all that drama. Minor Creddie. Read and review.





	1. iBeat Up Freddie

Haha, here's the first chappie. Sam is pretty violent....not really. XD Oh yeah, I don't own iCarly. Pfft.

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"And, I like, totally spit in his face! It's like Girls Choice all over again, but with a different guy!"

I felt like strangling my best friend again. Carly was so superficial and girly. She was my best friend, but Carly could really get on my nerves. My name is Sam Puckett, and I'm sixteen stinking years old. My best friend in the whole world, Carly, was complaining about spitting in some random boys eye when he was about to ask her to dance.

We were both walking to Carly's house. That torturous mental institution called school was finally over. I hadn't seen the Fredward nub since lunchtime. His mother asked him to come quietly with him. I saw the look in his eyes as he said his goodbyes to Carly. It was filled with…ugh. Whatever it was, it got on my nerves. I didn't say goodbye to him, though. I simply turned my head and stared at Ms. Briggs, even though I wasn't paying attention to anything she was saying.

"It was so horrible, Sam!" Carly squealed, putting her tiny hands on my shoulders and shaking me. "Horrible!"

I felt like my rolling my eyes but chose not to. We were about to get inside Carly's apartment when the door right across from hers flew right open. It happened to belong to Fredward Benson, longtime nub and complete loser. He ran to Carly with a worried and protective expression on his face.

"Who is it?" he asked. "What do you need, Carly?"

Carly nearly broke down into tears. I felt like tackling both of them. Instead, I socked Freddie in the stomach. He doubled over, gasping for breath. Carly's jaw dropped. I ignored her. "Well, nubster, if she was in trouble she didn't need any help from you." I felt some strange satisfaction from punching Freddie. I felt like doing it again.

"I'm fine, Freddie," Carly said in that annoying tone of voice again. "The hottest guy in school was about to ask me to the dance, and I ended spitting in his face! Does that seem fine to you?"

She threw her hands up in the air and unlocked the door to her apartment. We all walked inside the apartment, expecting to see Spencer and one of his crazy sculptures. He wasn't there. I strode straight to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Ham sounded very good right now. Sure enough, I found a couple pieces and wolfed them down.

"Very appealing," Freddie told me in a mocking tone.

I glared at him while eating another piece of ham. "Oh, shut it Benson. Go do your geek stuff, okay?"

Carly rolled her eyes and screamed like a whiny child. "STOP IT!" she screamed in the shrillest voice possible. "I JUST GOT TURNED DOWN BY THE HOTTEST GUY IN SCHOOL! AAH!" She threw her backpack at me. I ducked and it hit the refrigerator door. Freddie gave me a nervous glance. I didn't bother returning it.

I opened a bottle of Peppy Cola and drank it in a gulp. "Fine, fine, Carly, I'll shut my trap if he does."

"Yeah, right," Freddie mumbled under his breath.

Rage coursed through my veins. I finished off the Peppy Cola and crumpled it into a ball. Using all the strength I could possibly muster, I flung it and Freddie, aiming for his stupid little head. It bounced of his cheek, leaving and ugly red mark in its place. Carly sat on the couch and turned on the T.V. I picked up my backpack up my backpack and started to leave.

"Where are you going?" Carly demanded.

I didn't answer her at all. I didn't feel like obeying Carly's demands. I didn't want to. I left the apartment and slammed the door shut. My mind was still replaying the incident with the can. I had never meant to hurt anyone like that. My school counselor kept telling me not to be so violent, but I just couldn't help it.

I think I learned it from my mother. She is as violent as I am.


	2. iGet Hurt

Hey, I hope you like it! Don't forget to review once you're done reading! :D I hope I did this correctly! *has never posted stories on before*

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My head was still spinning by the time I got to my house. As I fished inside my pocket for the key to my house, the familiar stench of beer and cigarettes hit me. I sighed in frustration as I realized that my mother had been drinking again. I thought of not coming home today. Maybe Carly would let me stay over. But she'd probably give me lecture about beating up Freddie.

"Samantha Puckett! Is that you outside?" I froze. My mother must've heard me or something, even though I hadn't said a word. I needed to hide.

I had made my mind; I was going to Carly's until Mom got hold of the demons that made her drink. I looked to my left; there was nice large bush I could hide in. I glanced at the window of my apartment. My mom was coming to open the door and see if I was outside. I dove into the bush, pricking myself with branches and leaves. I spit out the leaf that I had gotten in my mouth and turned to see if my mom had seen me. I couldn't see anything.

Suddenly, I felt horrible pain coming from my scalp. I realized that someone was dragging me out of the bush by my hair. I screamed in pain and fright and found myself staring at my hairy mother, who reeked of alcohol and cigarette smoke. I gagged as she got her disgusting breath all over my freaking face.

"Whatcha doin' in there, eh, Sammy; I hope you weren't hiding from me!" I felt like my scalp was on fire as I struggled against her iron grip.

I shook my head very quickly. I better lie to her, or I'd be dead meat. "No, no," I gasped quickly. "I d-dropped s-s-something, that's all." I'd never say something like this to anyone else, but my mother intimidated me. She managed to make my darkest fears become a reality. She began to drag me into the house, and I didn't make a sound. Attracting the police would only make things worse.

As soon as we'd gotten in the house, she locked the front door and threw me against the wall. I managed not to make a sound and I worked up the courage to glare at her. I didn't dare make a noise. I glanced at the bottle of beer lying on the floor and pretended I was somewhere far away from here.

I was a beautiful princess. I was locked away in a castle, where an evil dragon beat me with his tail whenever he had eaten too much. I couldn't say anything, because if I did, the dragon would eat me alive. Whenever I imagined this, a prince would come on his horse and it would always look like Freddie Benson. Then I would wake up from my dream. I never understood it. I didn't even like the nub. Pondering about this right didn't matter, though.

I felt the first lash from the belt hit my stomach. It was fire, torture, pain, searing, ripping, and nightmarish all at the same time. I didn't look at my mom, because if I did, I would break down into tears, proving that I was the weak, spineless worm my mom always said I was. I could hear the belt land on my stomach again and I exhaled loudly.

_You're a princess, Samantha Puckett. You're a princess, and you don't need to be treated like this._

I didn't believe it. I couldn't and wouldn't believe it. I listened to the insults my mother would scream as she beat me. I didn't understand why she did it. Did she get some sick satisfaction out of beating her little girl? As my mom got ready to give me another lash, I heard my ringtone for my cell phone go off. My mom hadn't bought for me, of course. Spencer Shay had.

The music played for the Random Dancing Segment of iCarly went off loudly. My hands shook as I reached inside my pocket for my phone. My mother growled at me as I took my phone out of my pocket.

"If you answer it, girl, you're dead."

I ignored her and answered the phone. "H-h-hello," I mumbled into the phone. "W-w-who is it?"

"Sam?" I could hear Fredward Benson coming from the other end of the line. Why in the world would he call me for? I shot a glance at my mother, who was watching T.V. while pounding her fist against the couch's armrest. I took advantage of her distraction and ran up the stairs and locked myself in my room.

I sat on my bed and hissed, "What do you want, Benson?"

I heard a sigh on the other line. "Gosh, I don't even know why I call you, Sam. I guess…I guess I just wanted to see if you were alright…okay? Don't kill me."

"I wouldn't do that," I whispered softly, saying it more to myself than Freddie. "I wouldn't kill you." I felt a rush of gratitude towards that little nub. Gosh, what was wrong with me? First I imagine Fredweird's head on princes' and now this. I must've being going insane.

"What?"

I snapped out of my little thought bubble and found an answer to his question. "Forget that and shut your little face. I'm alright, I guess." Okay, I lied. Sue me.

"Oh, okay then. I guess…I'll just, um, hang up now." What a little freak.

I nodded. "You do that." I hung up the phone and looked at the wall. Freddie Benson called to check up on me. I didn't know if Carly made him do it or not, but I knew one thing. Freddie Benson had actually bothered to see if I was okay. Maybe someone did care for me…

I sighed with content.

Wait a minute! This was Fredward Benson we were talking about! I hated that little turd. What was wrong with me? I wrapped my arms around my knees and began to cry. What was wrong with me? I tenderly lifted my shirt and examined my stomach. It was bright red and extremely sore. It also had an ugly blue bruise on it.

"Oh, crap," I whispered. Carly was going to have a pool party in two weeks, but how could I wear a bikini with these ugly marks? I decided not to think about it and fell asleep.

I dreamt about being a princess once again. _You're a princess, Samantha Puckett. You're a princess, and you don't need to be treated like this._

If only it were true.


	3. iOwe Benson

Hey, I hope you like this chappie, because it miht be few days before you see the next one. Well, there's a little bit of bad language inside, but nothing too bad. Oh yeah, if you're wondering, I kind of made Freddie a bit more Carly-centered because I was just trying to describe that Freddie still as feeling for Carly. This is supposed to be set when they are sixteen years old, but Freddie still is in love with Carly. *sighs* Thanks to all my reviewers out there!

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I got ready for school quickly and quietly, ignoring the garbled shouts my mother made at me as I left the house. I didn't even say goodbye to her as I walked out the front door and slammed it as loudly as possible. I'd probably pay for it later today, but I didn't care. My stomach was already red and ugly. I didn't care about what she did to me at this point.

The walk to school was always about thirty minutes, considering the fact that I lived in a busy area with tons of cars. If I took a taxi to school, I'd get there in less than fifteen minutes. I looked inside my pocket for some cash. They were empty, of course. Unlike Carly and Freddie, I didn't get an allowance. Spencer may have gotten a cheesy phone for me, but I didn't get the twenty dollar bills he paid out to Carly every month. I didn't care really. It was just annoying, not having any money. I saw a taxi and started to wave down. Who cared about paying the dough? Maybe I could just run out of the cab and forget about paying him at all.

With that plan in mind, I hopped in the cab. "What up, Taxi Man?" I asked.

The cabbie gave me a dull look. "Where to, little kid?" he said in a heavy New York accent.

I was most certainly not a little kid. I was sixteen years old, dammit! I told him how to get to my school and he followed my directions. As soon as the car started moving, I looked down at my feet and tapped them nervously. I heard the cab driver grunt and I looked up quickly. He had pulled up against the side of the road and looked at me expectantly. I checked to see if we were at my school yet, but we weren't.

"What's with the chizz, dude? I gotta get to school."

"You need to have a seatbelt on, or I can't drive you anywhere else."

My jaw dropped. No one had ever asked me to put a seatbelt on before. I never felt the need to. My mom never told me to put on a seatbelt, so I never cared about it. In fact, I remembered telling Fredward that seatbelts were for wimps.

_"Benson, only nubs wear seatbelts. Did your mommy want you to wear one?"_

_Freddie gave rolled his eyes at me. "Fine, Puckett, if you want to come to your mommy in little bits and pieces, be my guest."_

_I growled at him. "Never-say-anything-about-my-mother-Benson," I mumbled furiously. Freddie noticed my clenched fists._

_"I didn't know you loved her so much," Freddie laughed. "I guess I know your weakness now."_

_I hated my mother. What was this fool thinking? "I have no weaknesses," I spat. Carly and Spencer walked towards us and we all got inside the car._

_"WHO'S READY TO GO TO WISPY WONDERLAND?" Spencer yelled._

_Freddie and I didn't speak to each other for the rest of the drive._

I rolled my eyes at the cabbie, but I did what he told me and put on my seatbelt. It was uncomfortable and tight, just as I had predicted. If I ever met the person who invented these things, I would sock them in the stomach. As soon as the cab started driving again, I kept having flashbacks of moments with Freddie and me.

_We were doing another iCarly Halloween special. I didn't dress up, but Carly was in a revealing devil/angel dress. She had dubbed it, "Double Trouble" because of the fact that the costume had two sides to it, one side that was all red, and one that was all white. I thought costumes were for babies and had decided not to wear a costume, much to Carly's dismay._

_"And now, we're going to do a segment called, 'Greatest Fears'!" Carly announced in what she thought was a creepy voice. I chuckled under my breath and got ready to do my part._

_"In this part of the show, we're going to show interviews of people's biggest fears! Spooky, isn't it?"_

_Carly started hopping around in her freaky little costume. "First we did interviews with ourselves! Ooh, scary!"_

_I took out a crumpled paper ball that used to be my unfinished math homework and threw it at Freddie. He let out an annoyed noise and I said, "Well, go ahead and do your tech stuff, geek boy."_

_"Going to the interview clips," he mumbled._

_I rolled my eyes. "Shut up and play the clips!"_

_Carly put her hand on my shoulder. "Relax, Sam. We've got an audience watching here. Oh, look, the clips are on!"_

_It was Carly's interview first. She sat on the car hood with a smile on her face. "My biggest fears have got to be, clowns, scary spiders, getting buried alive, breaking my nails, the color black, people who are scary, getting a bad hair day, and spitting in guys faces' when they ask me to the dance!"_

_I had to fight the overwhelming urge to strangle her again._

_The next scene showed me sitting on Spencer's couch while I drank a can of Peppy Cola and ate ham. I let out a loud belch, and muttered, "I don't fear anything." Well, that wasn't one-hundred percent true. I was scared of my mother, for instance, but I would never say that aloud._

_I saw the camera shake for a bit. "You have to be scared of something," Benson insisted. What a nub._

_"I'm scared of you not shutting your mouth, that's what I'm scared of, you little turd!" I launched from the couch and tackled him. The camera went off._

_The final scene showed Freddie holding an ice patch to a badly bruised eye. "I know what I'm scared of," he said in a loud voice. "Samantha Puckett, also known as the blonde-headed demon." I heard an angry shout and saw Freddie running away from a furious me, who had both her fists raised._

_"Well, those are the staff interviews," Carly said. She looked back at the T.V. screen, which showed me pounding Freddie into a jelly. "Turn it off," she pleaded._

It just showed that I did have fears and that maybe I was a wimpy coward. I felt the cab come to a slow stop.

"We're here," the driver said. Oh, crap. I still didn't have the money to pay him with. He held his palm out, waiting for his money.

I shook my head numbly. "Can you give me a minute?" I asked weakly, forgetting about my plans to escape the taxi cab. The driver suddenly activated all the locks, preventing me from escaping. I started screaming at the top of my lungs. "Hey, wait, a second, he can pay you!" I pointed at Freddie as he was about to get into the school. "Please let me grab him," I begged.

The cab driver nodded and unlocked the doors. "Go ahead, but if you don't come back with the money, I'll call the cops on you."

I jumped out of the cab and literally used all of my energy to run to Freddie. He saw the fear in my eyes and his eyes widened. Then he shook his head and glared at me. I wished he didn't. "What now, Sam? Are you going to beat me up for calling you yesterday? I told you already, it was an accident. I don't know what came over me."

"No, no," I whispered rapidly. "I need at least twenty dollars to pay for my ride in cab."

Freddie swore loudly. I was surprised. The kid never swore. "Damn, Puckett, don't you have any money?"

I searched into his eyes, looking for any compassion in his eyes. "No, not really," I finally admitted.

Freddie rolled his eyes and threw a twenty dollar bill in my palm. "There you go."

I smiled at him, but he didn't return it. I started running towards the taxi cab. "Alright, Freddie, I owe you one!"

"Well then, let's see you pay it off!" he shouted loudly.

As I gave the cabbie the twenty and he gave me five dollars change, I decided that I would pay Freddie back. I'd just have to make a trip to the Groovy Smoothie after school today.

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The little green 'Review' button is right there, just click it!


	4. iKiss a Geek

The iCarly Halloween Special took place _before_ chapter one, in case you're wondering. Here's very interesting chapter, because it involves Sam and Freddie. Now, I'm sorry this wasn't up sooner, I've been having a bad day today. Enjoy! ^_^ Oh, and I fixed that little error at the beginning. I need to do careful proofreadings. XD Thanks again!

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I picked up two Strawberry Seattle Smoothies at the Groovy Smoothie after school without Carly, because she was going out to dinner with Spencer. They invited me, but I declined, because I was on a mission. If I didn't pay Freddie back today, I'd probably forget about it.

I began walking towards Freddie and Carly's apartments, thinking about how I would explain my sudden kindness towards Freddie. For a minute, I actually considered drinking both of the smoothies myself. Though giving Freddie a smoothie would force me to have actually have a conversation with him for a few minutes, it was better than staying at my drunkmom's house, who must've had a bad hangover.

"YOU KEEP THOSE SMOOTHIES AWAY FROM MY LOBBY!" Lewbert yelled at me as I walked into the lobby. What an annoying-butt doorman. I felt like shoving a smoothie up his… I was distracted from my train of thought when Lewbert began to get up from his seat. "Hey, are those for me?"

I grimaced and began walking up the stairs. "Why would anyone give you freaking smoothie, Lewbert?"

I could hear him shuffling lots of papers around. "They would because, I'm, um…._cute_?"

I threw my head back and laughed loudly. "Keep dreaming, Lewb." I could hear him cussing me out, but I didn't care. That man was an utter nub. I finally got onto Freddie's floor and walked up to his apartment door. I could hear loud rock music coming from inside the house. What the hell? I knocked on the door, using as much force I could muster with my elbow. Hey, I was holding two smoothies in both hands, right?

The door opened, and I was face to face with Freddie. He wore a look of surprise on his…on his cute little face. Ugh! What was wrong with me these days? I thrust a smoothie in his hands. He looked at it curiously. I looked past his shoulder, searching for any signs of his overprotective mommy. I didn't see any sign of her. Once Freddie had checked the smoothie for poison, he stepped back.

"Come on in, Sam," he said uncertainly. "Why the hell did you bring me a smoothie?"

I shoved my way past him and searched the house for his mother. He followed me around like a hawk. When I was absolutely sure that Marissa Benson was gone, I sat on his couch (which was covered with some weird plastic wrap) and sipped my smoothie.

"Where is your little mommy?" I asked in a mock-baby voice. "Did she go and get your rash cream?"

Freddie set his smoothie on his kitchen counter. "If you're going to torture me Sam, get out." I didn't move an inch. "Anyways, if you must know, my mom went to an Aggressive Mothers of America conference. She wants to keep me…in her control."

I pointed at the boom box, which was blaring loudly. "Well, she's not doing a very good job, nub boy."

Freddie raised his hands in protest. "Hey, can we quit the name calling for five seconds?"

I nodded. "Five…four…three…two…one…You look like a dweeb."

Freddie groaned in defeat and began to drink his smoothie again. He and I were silent for a moment, but then I stood up and turned off that annoying boom box. I sat back on his couch. After several minutes of trying to get comfortable and failing, I said, "Hey, does your room have these stupid…plastic sheet things?"

I hoped I didn't sound like a weirdo. I probably did, because I saw Freddie get a very strange expression on his face. I shrugged quickly, trying to act cool. I screwed it up. Now Freddie thought I was a creep.

"No, there's not. Follow me."

I followed the nub into his room, which was messy and filled with his dirty laundry. He had geek equipment everywhere. There were cameras and laptops and loads of other technical equipment. I felt a little nervous. It seemed like all of his cameras were watching me. He had a huge bed and we both sat on the edge. I felt like there were a million butterflies in my stomach. Why?

I kept drinking my smoothie, which was pretty large when you started drinking it. Freddie finished up his smoothie and aimed for the wastebasket next to his bed. It was a perfect toss. "Nice throw, nub," I complimented him.

Freddie gave me a quick grin. "Thanks…so, why did you bring me a smoothie, Puckett?"

I dropped my empty smoothie on his floor. "You said I owed you one, and I paid you back. It's a simple as that, Fredward."

Freddie shrugged. "Well, I thought it was really, nice of you…don't hit me!"

I bared my teeth and growled. "I'm just paying off my debt." I probably should have cleared out of there, but I chose not to. Instead, I lay down on his bed and closed my eyes. I was so…tired. I didn't notice that Freddie lay down with me. We were silent.

"Well, thanks…I guess. Nub," I added afterwards. His bed was so soft…and comfy. If things got any stranger, I'd run out of there. "Hey, Fredgeek…what's on your mind? Dreaming about Ms. Briggs?" I crooned. "We both know that you love her," I teased him.

"Actually, I was thinking about…" He paused.

I really wanted to know. "Tell me," I urged.

Freddie sighed. "I was thinking about…our first kiss."

My mind reeled. We promised to never speak about it again! What the heck? I propped myself up on elbow and looked at him. He was looking at me with his brown eyes. Something about his gaze made my stomach churn and squirm. I gulped nervously.

"I-I…thought we'd never speak about it….ever again," I told him shakily. "You're speaking about it, nub boy!"

Freddie sat up and laughed. "Well, there's no one else here, right?" He looked at me again. I moved my head and stared at the floor. "Anyways, remember when we were tied up because of those prisoners?"

I nodded. It was when Carly accused us of eating each other's faces without telling her. I had a grudge with Carly about that. It was none of her business if we had kissed or not! My mouth was dry as I waited for Freddie to continue.

"Well, I remember that she asked us if we liked it…"

I felt my stomach clench up into a little ball. What was this geek getting at? I worked up the courage to look at him again. He was peering at me.

"Did we…you, know like it? 'Cause Sam…" He paused. "I liked it."

I froze. I didn't want to answer his question, but I knew what the answer was. I loved it. I loved how gentle and soft he was, and I loved that we had kissed on a fire escape, and it the romantic part was gooey and disgusting, but I still loved it. "Oh, that's...um…."

Freddie leaned closer in, and our noses were almost touching. What was this boy playing at? "I have a secret to tell you." What?

Suddenly I was kissing Freddie. Freddie the geek, the nerd, the nub was kissing me! And I liked it! What the hell was wrong with me? Part of me wanted to get out of there, but I just wanted to stay there. I wanted him to cradle me in his arms, though I'd never say this aloud to him. After what seemed like minutes (but was really only a few seconds), Freddie pulled away. I didn't want him to.

"Why did you kiss me?" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "I was going to tell you a secret!"

I threw my hands up in the air. _He_ was the one kissing _me_! What an idiot! He leaned in, didn't he? Now that I thought of it, maybe I had kissed him. It didn't matter! Freddie and I had kissed-_again_! I tried to spit out a coherent sentence.

"I-I-I didn't…What's your big secret, anyways?" I shouted.

Freddie gave me a look of disgust. "I'm dating Carly. She and I kissed after school today."

I felt the whole room spin as I tried to breathe. I felt like I had been punched hard in the gut by Shelby Marx. Nothing could really describe how I was feeling at the moment. I needed to get out of there as soon as possible. I clutched at my throat, trying to remember how to breathe again. I couldn't.

"I've betrayed the one girl I love!" Freddie turned away from me didn't look at me anymore.

"I-I-I need to work some things out, Freddie; I-I'll see you later." I stormed out of his house. As I felt the tears come into my eyes, I crashed into somebody. I looked up. It was Mrs. Benson. "Out of my way, doofus," I cried.

Mrs. Benson waved her fist at me as I ran away from her. "Delinquent!" she screamed.

_A heartbroken delinquent_, I thought. Who am I? Why should I care about Fredward Benson? I've always hated him. Or have I? I cried all the way back to my house.

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Don't forget to review! ^_^ Thanks for reading!


	5. iGet a Phone Call

Yeah, this chapter is short, sorry. I'll try to make it longer next time, I promise! Don't forget to review! I love seeing my inbox clogged up with new reviews! I love you guys so much! 333 ^_^

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I wanted to pitch myself off the top of my roof. I knew I couldn't though. I would break Carly's heart, but not Freddie's. Aw, crap! I was thinking of that Fredward again! My heart was already throbbing like crazy. I still hadn't sorted out my feelings for Freddie yet. I ran to my house, wiping the tears out of my eyes so I could see. I finally reached my house after several horrible minutes of crying and sniffling like an idiot. I opened the door to my house and ran up into my room.

"Puckett, what are you doing?" my mother screamed as I locked myself up in my room.

I screamed several profanities at her. Oh crap. If my stomping upstairs didn't piss her off, this surely would. I only thought of my sore stomach, my anger at Carly's dating Freddie, and the confused feeling about Freddie. What was it about him that made my heart skip a beat when he talked to me? Why did my stomach lurch whenever our hands accidentally touched? Why was it that when he offered to carry my books, my head would spin and I would throw them at him? Why was it that I suddenly started to kiss him, even though he clearly didn't love me?

I wiped the tears out of my eyes and suddenly my cell phone started ringing. Who was it? I couldn't hear my mother coming up the stairs, so I answered it immediately, trying to get rid of the shakiness in my voice. To my surprise, it was Carly.

"Sam, I have a huge secret to tell you!" she squealed excitedly.

Dammit; I already knew what her little secret was. "Go ahead, tell me," I announced in a dull voice. I didn't want to reveal any of the frenzied emotions I was actually feeling.

"Freddie and I made out behind the school earlier today! And then he asked to be my girlfriend! Isn't this great! I can take Freddie to the dance and make Griffin totally jealous!"

Wait, what? Carly's so-called "bad boy" boyfriend? She was using Freddie so she could win Griffin's heart back? I swore under my breath.

"What?" Carly asked me.

I felt my body began to convulse with rage. How dare she use Freddie, a boy who loved her, just for her own selfish needs? What a…I couldn't describe what I was feeling at the moment. It was between pure fury and heartbreak for Freddie. I clenched my hands so they resembled large fists. I felt like punching a hole in the wall.

"You're using Freddie," I spat. "You're using him so you can go out with Griffin."

Carly's end of the line paused. "Well, duh! Do you think I actually like that geek as a boyfriend? You've got to be kidding me, Sam."

"How could you do this?" I screamed angrily. "You stupid sleaze bucket, Freddie actually loves you!"

Carly started cussing me out. "Oh, shut up! It's not like you care about him...think about it! You're always hitting him, screaming at him, and acting like a jerk to him! You should be supporting this!"

"Well, I'm not," I hissed. "You…disgust me, dude."

Carly started screeching at me again. "Well...back at you!"

"Great comeback, you stupid girly-girl," I said acidly. It felt as though all of my resentment I had towards Carly was flowing out of me like a waterfall. "Go back to caking your face with make-up!"

"TAKE THAT BACK!" Carly screamed. "I am not a girly-girl!

I hung up the phone on her. I knew what I needed to do. I had to warn Freddie before he got his heart broken like myself. Was I in love with Fredward Benson, a.k.a. Nub King? I had no damn idea.


	6. iTell Fredweird

I'm SO sorry for not updating recently! Life issues keep getting in the way, and yeah....Please keep reading and reviewing! I love you guys so much!

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It seemed so odd to me. Carly had been griping about spitting in someone's eye, and now she wanted Griffin to fall in love with her again? I hated Carly Shay. Somehow, in a few days, my best friend had suddenly become my worst enemy. I felt sick to my stomach.

My mother hadn't bothered me all night, which gave something to think about as I tried to sleep last night. The only thing that ran through my mind repeatedly was the face of Fredward Benson, his kind, loving, and handsome face. Oh, crap! What the hell was wrong with me?

I felt like I was fighting a battle between myself. The side I was against was my soft, kind and sensitive side, the side that told me the Freddie Benson was more than my friend. That side was the one that just wanted to be loved and held and told that I was a princess. The side I was fighting on was the angry, bitter, mean-spirited side that just made sense to me. I hated Freddie because he was dweeb and that was that. (_No it wasn't.)_

My eyes snapped open and I whispered loudly. "NO!" It was still dark, and my alarm clock told me that it was 4 o' clock in the stinking morning. My insides churned and I felt like throwing up. I wanted to tear my heart right out of my chest.

I knew I was l losing the battle to my sensitive side. I felt the sudden urge to destroy Carly Shay. I wanted to make her so angry that she would explode. Maybe I would. I could start going out with Griffin, and I would watch Shay break down and scream like a toddler with a temper tantrum.

I smiled in the darkness. It sounded like a pretty good plan to me. I closed my eyes and waited for the familiar sound of my alarm clock going off at 7 in the morning.

It came earlier than I expected. I licked my dry lips and stretched. I was so sore. The events from yesterday kept going through my mind like a broken record. My kiss with Fredward, my argument with Carly, the language I had used against my mother…it was all like a horrible nightmare. I just wanted to clear my mind. I hated it.

I somehow managed to get myself out of my bed and dressed for school. I looked in the mirror and saw a train wreck. My eyes were bloodshot, and I had dark purple rings under my eyes. I suddenly got an acne attack and looked like a wild animal, and my teeth were yellow because I hadn't bothered to brush them yesterday. My hair was knotted and tangled, as if I had been sticking them in trees. I swore quietly under my breath and got to work.

It took me an hour to get my unsightly appearance into a presentable one. I had put makeup on rings under my eyes, combed my tangled and knotted hair (which hurt like hell), brushed my teeth until they looked white, and washed my face multiple times. At least I no longer looked like a wild savage. I normally didn't use makeup, but this was an exception. I caked my face with it, hoping I didn't resemble Carly, who pounded six pounds of makeup on her face every morning.

My mother was passed out (drunk no doubt) on the couch as I exited the house. My heart tightened as I saw the beer bottle in her palm. I hated her. This…this woman had brought Melanie (my twin sister) and me into this cruel, sick world and left us to fend for ourselves, which was hard for me and my sister. Thank God she had been put in a rich school with her scholarship, but I was forced to live off scraps. Meeting Carly when I was younger had been a miracle. She fed me when I was hungry, and let me sleep in her house when my mom was drunk…but that was over. My safe place at Carly's had been closed…indefinitely.

I had nothing left to lose now. If Freddie didn't believe me…I'd, I'd…get back at Carly Shay. I felt like my life depended on running Carly's. I had nothing else. I slammed the door of my apartment and closed my eyes and squeezed my fists. I ignored the tears rolling down my face, wrecking the makeup I had put on my face. Was I going bonkers? I must have been. I felt like throwing up.

But somehow, using all of my strength, I managed to pick myself up and walked to school with a heavy heart. I reached the school ten minutes before class was supposed to start. I looked everywhere for Carly and Freddie holding hands, but I couldn't find either of them. I took a deep breath and walked in the school. It was crowded and loud as usual, and I felt like my eardrums would explode.

I reached my locker by shoving tons of nubs out of the way. "Out of my way, morons," I said roughly as I finally reached my locker. I suddenly stopped in my tracks, feeling sick. Carly and Freddie were making out with each other against the lockers. Freddie was holding onto Carly like a lifesaver. I shook my head slowly and stepped backwards, right into Gibby, who was, of course, shirtless. Freddie and Carly broke apart and stared at me. Suddenly, Carly started laughing like a hag.

"Hahahaha!" she shrieked. "It looks like Gibby and Sam want to get together!"

Gibby looked at me in disgust. "Not cool, Puckett!" he shouted in my face. "Now I need to see my therapist again! It's the third time this week!" He ran away from me.

I shook my fist at the fatty. "Oh shut your noise trap, chubby!" I screamed after him. I turned to Freddie and Carly, who was laughing her evil little heart now. I marched to Freddie and hissed, "I need to talk to you, Fredweird. It's important."

Freddie gave me an annoyed look and looked back at Carly Shay, who was pounding her fists against her locker and laughing wickedly. He gave me a quick nod and I grabbed his arm and dragged him away from Carly. I took him outside of the school, where he surveyed me with his brown eyes. _(They were very cute.)_ Ugh!

"Okay nub, you have to promise that you'll believe everything I'm going to say to you."

Freddie looked at me suspiciously. "What now, Puckett?" he asked me. "Did you rob a bank?"

I felt like throttling him. Carly would start looking for him any minute now. "No, no, it was nothing like that," I whispered hurriedly. "Just promise, okay?"

Freddie's eyes became slits. "…Okay….," he said uncertainly.

I leaned into his ear. "Carly is going to use you to make Griffin jealous. Dump her now, Freddie, I swear."

Freddie looked at me with utter fury. He started shaking. I put my finger to his lips and shushed him. "You promised," I told him quietly.

Freddie threw my hands aside. "I didn't know that I would promise to believe a lie!" he shouted. "Samantha Puckett, I don't know if you've gotten the memo, but I'm in love with Carly Shay, and she's in love with me, and I'll always be in love with Carly Shay, and I think your lies are a pile of crap!" He turned away from me, a broken shell, and left me standing there.

Fredward Benson had broken my heart again.


	7. iKiss a Bad Boy

Dear me,

Yeah, it's Sam, your past self. You must be wondering why I'm writing this to you. Well, future me, I'm here to make a few confessions. Yeah, I think I know what your reaction will be. I don't give a crap. Okay, I'm laying on the chizz. I'm in love with Fredward Benson. You know it, and I know it. Damn, the felt good to say. I've been bottling it up for months now, but I'm glad I can tell this to you, future me. You know, I didn't realize it until Fredweird broke my heart. He shredded it into tiny pieces, but he doesn't realize that. He just thinks I'm being a whiny- Anyways, I want to get revenge on Carly Shay.

What does my revenge plan entail? Well, since that little witch is trying to break Freddie's heart, I'm going to do her favor and go out with Griffin before he can go out with her. Yeah, I know he's an abusive a-hole, but I need to fulfill my desperate need to get revenge on the snarky, snobby little spoiled brat. I don't even understand how I was friends with her before.

First I need to find Griffin. Apparently he's one grade ahead of us, so I think I can catch him on at lunchtime. Then I'll use my bad girl charm and steal Griffin before Carly can break Freddie's heart. Hey, maybe Freddie will get jealous of Griffin and might realize that under his hate for me, he secretly has feeling for Samantha Puckett, the little blonde-headed demon that I am.

Wow, I can't believe that I'm getting all choked up over this stupid little letter. I just want to tell my future self, that whatever happens, make sure that Fredweird doesn't get his tiny little heart smashed into a billion pieces- or I'll punch my future self in the face.

And if you ever get your little paws on this letter, Benson, just remember this- Samantha Puckett loves you with all of heart.

-Sam

Ignoring the tear drops that stained the letter, I folded the letter I made into eighths and hid it the very back of my dresser. I guess I wasn't invited to Carly's swim party anymore. What the hell? No one needed to see the bruises on my stomach anyways. I heard my mom marching up the stairs, screaming cuss words. I guess I forgot to sweep the kitchen again.

I only had one thing on my mind as my mom threw punches at my face and stomach, over and over again.

Get revenge on Carly, get payback on Shay, get retribution on the spoiled snob, revenge, obtain justice, and retaliate.

But as I prepared to pass out, I saw one other thought going through my mind.

_You're a princess, Samantha Puckett. You're a princess, and you don't need to be treated like this._

It was Freddie Benson's voice. And then the pieces of the puzzle began to fit. Freddie never loved me and never will. I just think he will, and it will never happen. I tried not to cry my eyeballs out as another blow hit my stomach. It wasn't because my mother was abusing me; I was used to that. It was because I was all alone in this big, mean world, and Freddie Benson never loved me. He never would.

Maybe Griffin would. I finally felt a big, beefy fist hit my head and I was knocked out.

School was tortuous again. But I was on a mission- I needed to find Griffin. I couldn't see him anywhere before school, but I finally managed to find him spray painting the back of the cafeteria during lunch. I strode over to him, and he tossed the spray paint can out of view.

"I'm not going to rat you out," I told him coolly. "In fact, I wanted to help you."

Griffin sneered at me. "Well, Sam," he said. "Any friend of goody-two-shoes Carly is not a friend of mine."

I tried to keep a straight face and gave him a smile. He didn't smile back. "I'm not friends with that little…" I couldn't finish my sentence. I felt a disgusted look creep across my face and looked away from Griffin. He grabbed my chin and forced me to look into his eyes, which were filled with an evil look. I tried to ignore it. This was the boy I was supposed to steal from Carly.

He forced me to press his lips against mine. Something strange stirred up inside me. Was it…? Yes, I knew what I wanted to do. I felt the desperate urge to kiss him on the lips. No! No! I was in love with Freddie! (_He broke your heart.)_ It was true. Why not just let yourself fall with another man? Griffin was bad boy, and he was like your twin. Just kiss him and get it over with.

"I like you, Puckett," he breathed, getting hot air all over my face. I liked the way this felt. It was…dangerous. I pushed my face closer to his,and felt my heartbeat quicken. I really liked this.

I breathed back. "I like you too, Griffin." And though I didn't really feel like I was telling the truth, I leaned forward and kissed him hard against the lips. I slowly forgot everything else except Griffin. I needed Griffin. Forget that turd and his stupid little airhead girlfriend. We both kissed passionately until the bell rang and lunchtime was over.

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Poor Sam. Don't forget to review, my little angels! :3


	8. iAm In Trouble

AN: Hi guys, it's me again! Thanks for all of your loving reviews! I'm so glad to be able to present you with the next chapter of Sam's story. Now, I have to warn any young readers/or anyone who gets offended or scared easily: This is a dark and violent chapter. Nothing too graphic, it just deals with some scary stuff. So yeah, don't call me a creep when you're done reading this chapter. :P

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-3 weeks later

I sat on my bed, waiting for my phone to ring any minute now. My boyfriend Griffin said he would call me, though he usually never did. Either way, I waited for him. After all, he was a bad boy, and I was in love with him. Three weeks is pretty short to say you're in love with someone, right? Especially with me, being only fifteen years old. I don't care anymore. I made sure that I got my revenge on Carly.

-3 weeks earlier

I snuck into my classroom, late as usual. I didn't give a damn. Making out with Griffin was almost as good as kissing Freddie Benson…a person I wanted to forget about completely. Carly saw me sneaking in and her eyes narrowed. I sat in the desk next to her with a small smile on my face. She examined my face.

"Why are you smiling?" she hissed quickly.

I shrugged and gave her a devious smirk. "No reason," I told her slyly. "I'm just…happy today, I guess. And I was _very_ happy during lunch today." I tried to make her curious, which worked, because she gave me a suspicious yet interested look.

Carly propped her arm against the desk and looked at me intently. That's when I noticed, Freddie, three seats away from my own, staring directly into my eyes. Furious, I dropped my gaze and looked at the floor. Carly, however, wanted to know what I was doing at lunch.

"So where did you go?" she asked in sweet voice. What a phony- "We noticed you were missing." Carly and Freddie were the wondering where I was at…yeah, right. Carly was such a superficial little twit. I doubt Benson was wondering about me when he was too busy eating Carly's face.

I smirked again. "No reason, Shay." She flinched. I never called her that. "I was just…talking to Griffin."

Carly's eyes widened. "Talking?" she accused me. "YOU'RE LYING!" Her voice rose to a screeching shout. Ms. Briggs gave a Carly an evil stare.

"You heard me," I whispered to Carly as Ms. Briggs marched towards her. "I'm going out with Griffin…and I'm quitting iCarly. Go to hell."

Carly looked desperately and Freddie. "Freddie, we are over!"

I looked over at Freddie, whose jaw had dropped. "No you're not!" I screamed. "Leave him out of this, you little slut!"

(Cue gasp from class.)

Ms. Briggs gave me a death stare. Oh, crap. "You're suspended for three weeks," she boomed. Can teachers even give out suspensions? I shouted several unsavory words to Briggs and Carly and gave Freddie a pained look. He looked horrified. Who could blame him? After all, I did ruin his relationship with Carly. I stood up abruptly, grabbed my backpack and stormed out of the classroom, knowing that I had failed Freddie. I ended up breaking his heart. _(He gets a taste of his own medicine, hmmm?) _As I marched away, I could hear Freddie Benson shouting my name.

Just forget about him, Puckett. You're not a princess, you're a bad girl. Princes and bad girls don't mix.

-Present Day

So, it was six days before the Girls Choice Dance. As usual, Carly had been asked out by a guy immediately once word had spread that she had dumped Freddie. I had no idea if Freddie had been asked out, but I didn't care. I was utterly in love with Griffin. I still got about ten phone calls from Benson every day, though. I never answered the phone. I didn't feel the need to talk to him.

I was so happy about going out with Griffin, but some of his behavior troubled me. About a week ago, when a boy wanted to talk to me about something, Griffin got all pissed off and punched the kid in the face. He was just trying to protect me, I think, but then he started screaming at me and he called me unspeakable things. I managed to soothe his temper, but I was still scared around him.

And then there was the fact when we were alone at his house. He was always trying to get his hands in my pants, but I told him no and that I wanted to take it slow. He always promised me that he would stop, but if there was ever situation like that again, he would try to get me to change my mind.

But today would be different. He was taking me out to the park today. His motorcycle had been taken away by his parents, but he still had a cute car. I just needed him to tell me he was at my house. My mom had disappeared, but I was used to it. She was probably drunk in a bar. Better there than here, I guess.

I heard my doorbell ring and I knew that it was Griffin. I jumped off my bed and ran over to the door. "One minute, baby," I chirped cheerfully as the door swung open. "Oh, crap," I muttered as I saw who was at the door. It was Freddie Benson.

"Hi, Sam," he said urgently. He seemed like he had something important to tell me. "Can I come in?"

"No," I told him coldly. "What do you want? I'm going out with Griffin in a few minutes, and I don't have time to go and chat, okay?"

Freddie seemed even more panicked than before. "He's who I want to warn you about."

I laughed, even though there was nothing funny about the situation. "Nice try, Benson. I'm in love with Griffin."

"No, Sam," he told me. "He's dangerous. I heard that he got suspended for beating a kid to a bloody pulp."

I froze. Griffin had never told me about that. "Liar," I spat. "You're just angry because Carly dumped you. I don't give a chizz."

He opened his mouth to speak, but I heard the beeping of a car horn. Griffin pulled up in my driveway. I sighed with relief. All I wanted to do right was get away from Freddie Benson, the nub that broke my little heart. I slung my bag over my shoulder and shoved Freddie out of the way.

"See you later, stupid."

Freddie shouted my name once, but I was already in Griffin's car, slamming the door. I didn't bother putting on a seatbelt. Griffin noticed that I didn't have one on. "Atta girl," he told me. He stepped on the gas pedal and we drove off, leaving Freddie standing at my open front door. I didn't look back.

"So, baby," Griffin said as we drove onto a huge street. "What was that boy doing there?"

I paused. "Um, he just stopped to drop something off." I had to lie. He would just start screaming at me again.

Griffin looked at me with his dark eyes. "You seemed pretty pissed at him. Don't lie to me, Puckett."

"Look at the road," I stuttered nervously. We were passing the park already. "You passed the park."

Griffin looked straight ahead at the road and said nothing. I fell silent. What was he doing? My stomach felt like lead. What was wrong with Griffin? Was he still jealous about Freddie visiting me? Why had the word "jealous" popped into my head?

I looked out the window. We were driving towards a dark forest. I said nothing. I was scared Griffin would crash the car on purpose. We drove on for thirty minutes until we came to a foreign walking trail. He parked the car and I refused to budge. What the hell?

"Get the hell out." Griffin's voice sounded like ice. I didn't move an inch. "Are you fucking deaf? Get the hell out." I flinched.

"N-n-no," I whimpered, trying to regain my composure. Griffin looked at me in the eyes. They were evil, soulless, empty eyes. "O-okay," I mumbled nervously. What was he going to do to me? I unbuckled quickly and nearly flew out of the car. I put my hands in my pockets and saw Griffin getting out of the car.

I remained quiet as I saw Griffin open the trunk of his car. As I saw the metal crowbar, I realized what Griffin was planning on doing to me. I shook my head, mouthing the word, "No" silently. I needed to get the hell away from this psycho, but my feet felt like they were nailed to the forest floor. Griffin closed the door of his trunk and looked at me, grinning wildly.

"Stay away from me," I warned him. Suddenly, as he lunged towards me, I spun around and ran for my life not knowing where I was running to or what would happen if I stopped. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but nothing happened. No one came to my rescue. I felt something huge and heavy hit the back of my head and I fell on a rock, slicing my forehead open. I screamed in pain as I felt the blood trickle down my body. I tried to move, but that's when I saw the jagged rock lying next to me, glittering with fresh blood. I gagged and became quiet when I heard footsteps coming towards me. It was Griffin.

"Aw, Samantha," he crooned. "You just want to take things too slow. I'm going to have you now, and then I'll feed you to the fishes in the river. And you'll be all mine. You will only belong to me."

I needed to make him see reason. Light were already flashing in my mind. "I already…already, b-b-belong…to you," I whispered, taking deep breaths every time I spoke. It seemed like speaking was so hard now. I couldn't breathe anymore.

Griffin snorted in disgust. "Shut the hell up. I've seen the look in your eyes when you talk about Benson. I just want to stop you…before you do something…unfaithful."

"Freddie is ten times the man you'll ever be," I said harshly. I spat out blood that had trickled in my mouth from my bloody forehead.

Griffin let out a harsh, throaty laugh. "Too bad you'll probably never see him again."

I heard the thud of the crowbar hitting my skull as I blacked out.

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Too dark or creepy? Too much bad language? Anyways, let me know by reviewing! 3


	9. iWatch Sam Go

Here's some more! I already wrote the next part, but I'll wait until tomorrow to post it. XP Anyways, enjoy! :D

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"See you later, stupid."

I watched her leave me to go with…Griffin. I felt a strange sense of irony. When Sam had warned me about the dangers of going out with Carly, I had ignored her told her that she was a liar. But now, when I was here, warning her about Griffin's abusive behavior, she returned the favor and didn't listen to a word I had said.

"Sam, don't!" I shouted.

It was too late. The girl I had loved had jumped in the car with Griffin who looked furious. I felt a sense of dread in my stomach. I had read about abusive boyfriends. I knew how they worked. And I was at the Groovy Smoothie when I had seen Griffin punch a kid in the face. I watched the car drive off and ran my fingers through my hair. What would my mother say when she discovered that I was in love with a future juvenile delinquent?

Ah, I know what she would do. She would scream and yell at me and tell me I was a moronic jackass, but she probably wouldn't put it in those words exactly. I didn't know what to think anymore. I mean, I know Sam didn't like me back. She and Griffin had been going steady for a few weeks now. Three weeks, to be exact. Ugh! I was turning into an obsessive stalker! I tried not to think about Puckett, and tried to think about some other girl in my class, but how could you not think about the girl you love?

I know I thought about her at least once every day. It would happen while I was walking home from school, or maybe when I was kissing with Carly, and sometimes I thought about her when my mom was making speeches about the benefits of healthy eating. I know my feelings about her changed when we had our first and only kiss. Sometimes I didn't like her, but those feelings subsided when we actually started to talk to each other more often. Instead of me insulting her, and then Sam punching me in the gut, we would actually talk to each other and have real conversations. But things changed when I started going out with Carly. No, things had changed before that. Maybe it was when I first called her that night. I wasn't an idiot. I knew something was wrong. Her voice was all shaky and weird. But maybe it was when I told her she owed me for the cab. She did come back to pay her debt, and when she kissed me, I goofed up, and all this drama started.

It was true; I still did have feelings for Carly Shay. You would too, after crushing on her for all of your life. And yes, she did kiss me. I did agree to become her boyfriend. I was only trying to make Sam jealous, but I was still under Carly's spell. When we kissed, it was like the world was melting. Yet Sam's kiss was gentler, and I felt like time stopped when we both kissed each other. Carly was passionate, feisty gal when it came to romance. Believe it or not, Sam was a whole new person. She was nice and kind…so…un-Sam.

So when Sam came to warn me about dating Shay, I didn't believe her. I regret that. I only thought that Sam was being a stubborn butt-head. I realize now that Sam had to have care for me, at least a little bit, to tell me that Shay would try and break my heart, because she was trying to go out with Griffin to the dance. I didn't listen to her.

So here I was, a lonely shell, standing in front of the house that belonged to a girl who, a million years ago, may have had feelings for me, but not anymore. I couldn't shed a tear. Yes, I felt a crushing wave of grief, but I couldn't produce a single tear. That was when I noticed that Sam's front door was still open.

I had never been her house before. Should I go and look? No, that would be way too nosy. I wasn't a creeper or anything, but I was genuinely interested in seeing Samantha Puckett's house. I don't know what it was, maybe it was my sadness and crazed desperation, but I pushed open the door and walked inside.

"Oh, crap," I muttered as the first wave of horrible smells hit my nostrils.

I wasn't used to smelling this crap. It smelled like alcohol, cigarette smoke, and tons of rotten food. What was Sam doing in this house? I felt like leaving immediately. Then I realized that maybe it was her dead-beat mother doing all of this. Was this what her mom was like? I suddenly felt a pang of sadness for Sam. What did she have to go through every day?

After peeking through two rooms (The bathroom and Sam's mother's bedroom), I finally found the room I was looking for. It was Sam's shabby bedroom. It figures. Sam wasn't very organized. I saw Sam's dresser. I wondered what was inside it. Maybe Sam had a hidden diary she didn't tell anyone about, even Carly. Ugh, I was such a nosy creeper. I swear; if I kept up this behavior, Sam would put a restraining order on me.

I couldn't help myself. I opened one of the drawers to her dresser. There was nothing there except for clothes. As I was about to close it, I noticed a white sheet of notebook paper sticking out. I pulled it out and read it.

Leave it to Sam to make everything more complicated.

I folded the letter into eighths and put it in my pocket. I needed to call her. Screw Griffin. I was going to talk to Sam, even if she didn't want to talk to me.

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Sorry it was short! The next will be a bit shorter, but I'll make up for it with an extra long chapter!


	10. iGet 25 Missed Calls

Here it is! ^_^

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I couldn't breathe; it was too hard. I needed to move my slow limbs, but I couldn't animate them. Horrible flashbacks filled my traumatized mind. Cuts and bruises covered my body, and I felt that my arm was broken. Dammit, Griffin was too strong, even for me. Of course, getting beaten over the head with crowbar didn't help my strength.

The fact that my heart was still beating was an accomplishment. I didn't know how long I had been unconscious, and I didn't know where I was. I couldn't open my eyes, so I used my other senses to determine my location. I was freezing cold; my body felt like ice. I realized that I had nothing on except for a bra and underwear. I was lying on the forest floor; I could feel leaves plastered to my face. I shuddered and heard something faint coming from somewhere close to me. Was it…Griffin?

My body tensed up. If he knew I was awake, what would happen next? Would I get…I tried to think of the words. Would I get…hurt again? I needed to force myself to think. I could fight my way out of this. I tried to open my eyes and sat up. I smelled blood and dirt and my head spun. I need to concentrate. I felt something happen in my stomach. I was going to throw up.

"Focus, Samantha," I whispered to myself. "You can breathe."

I felt the horrible feeling in my stomach go away. I finally worked up the courage to open my eyes. It was dark out and I was all alone. My clothes were in a pile a few feet away from me. Where was Griffin? Suddenly, the feeling of being sore and stiff hit me. I felt like I had been run over one hundred times. Griffin would pay for this. He would pay for ruining me; he would get his ass kicked with a crowbar.

I realized that the sound I was hearing was not from Griffin; it was coming from my pants pocket. It was my phone, which was set on vibrate. Why hadn't it run out of battery yet? Who was calling? Maybe I could call 911. I felt a surge of adrenaline, fear, and hope rush through me. I crawled to my pants, cutting my knee on several sharp rocks. It hurt, but I didn't care. All I wanted was a chance to call for help.

I grabbed my phone. _25 missed calls and seven unread voicemails_, it read. Who the hell was calling me this much? It started vibrating again, so I flipped it open.

"H-hello," I whispered, my voice cracking. "P-p-please h-help m-me, a-a-anyone who c-can hear me; I-I'm in the f-forest and I'm h-hurting badly."

"Sam, is this a joke? I don't like jokes," Fredward Benson said sternly. "I don't care what you and Griffin are joking about; it's not funny!"

"IT'S NOT A JOKE!" I screamed, with unmistakable terror in my voice. "He…he raped me and I got hit on my head. HELP ME!"

"Sam, where are you at, so I can call the cops? You'll be okay, sweetie. I promise. I'll kick his ass." I listened to my only love ask me frantic questions about my safety.

I heard a cough from behind me, and my breathing stopped.

"Griffin's here," I mumbled, tears in my eyes. "I love you, Fredweird."

There was silence on the other end of the line. "Fight for your life Sam. I love you too."

I closed the phone and turned to face Griffin, who was looking at me with an amused, yet furious expression. I balled my hands into little fists and looked him square in the eye. I grabbed my shirt and pants and threw them on. I stood on my feet and watched the hunter stare at his prey.

"I'm kicking your ass for Freddie." I ran towards him with my fists raised.

* * *

I had called the cops and they were going to search for Sam. That was good.

Finding Samantha was the only thing on my mind. I'd gotten a damn phone call from the girl, and my heart was racing a mile a minute. What was Griffin doing to her right now? I felt sick to my stomach, but there was another feeling, underneath all my worry, that really scared me.

I felt rage. This anger was nothing I had ever felt before. I wanted to beat Griffin's head in with baseball bat, throw him into a lake, shoot him in the head, and all sorts of horrible and violent things. Griffin needed to pay. He had to pay for being monster. And I wanted to make him pay for all of this. I was sitting in my car. The ignition was on and I was ready to go. I didn't know where I would be heading, but I had to go somewhere.

Then it hit me. I got out of my car slowly and walked towards my trunk. I had an idea. I would get my revenge on Griffin. Poor Sam, poor Sam; I was going to make sure she got justice. I opened the trunk and reached inside, hoping I would find what I needed most. Then I saw it. It was fine looking baseball bat from a long time ago. It was a gift from one of my relatives, who had hoped I would play sports, but I never used it. Sure enough, I was throwing out junk from room and it had gotten stuck in here.

I grabbed the handle, the smooth wood calming me. Without uttering a word, I threw the bat over my shoulder and whistled nervously. I sat back in my car and gently placed the bat in the passenger's seat. This was going to be payback for Sam.

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Hope you enjoyed it! The next part will be posted later tonight. :D


	11. iDie

This a very short chapter, I'm warning you. But it's important to the story. Don't forget to review!

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He was kissing me furiously. I tried to pull back, but he threw his strong hands on my neck and dragged me closer. I felt my arms hang limply on my sides. I couldn't move anymore. I cried and yanked my head back. Then I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Stop it, stop! Get your hands away from me!" I saw Griffin's angry face change into a smirking, evil grin. He wiped the tears from eyes and shivered. "STOP IT!" I yelled.

Griffin wouldn't, though. He just kept wiping the tears from my face. Then, once again, his face changed into one that was sad and anxious. I knew it was it wasn't real; but it didn't stop me from trembling as I put one hand on his face and stroked it. What the hell was wrong with me? I felt like crawling in a hole and dying.

"I don't get it," I murmured, trying to withhold the sobs threatening to take over my life and soul. "Why do you keep changing, dammit? Y-y-you raped me and beat me with a rock and now you're wiping tears from eyes and I want you to stop. Let me go to Freddie, you dumbass." I was angry and confused and horrified.

Griffin smiled at me, but it was a twisted, evil grin. "I didn't like it when you fought me, so I kissed you. I don't like it when you mention Freddie either, honey. I love you, and I want you to be all for me."

Maybe he did love me. I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. I wanted the pain to go away. I wanted it all to stop. This horrible, burning sensation made me want to pitch myself off a cliff and cry. I ached for Freddie. I wanted his arms around me. That was all I wanted. And then I sank to the forest floor and died.

* * *

The next chapter should be up in a day or two. Anyways, do you have ideas of what's going to happen in the next chappie? Let me know by pressing that awesome review button!


	12. iHave An Author's Note

Hello everyone; it's me, Ali. First of all, I'd like to sincerely apologize to all my readers. Why? Because of my terrible lack of updates. I've written the entire story up, but I've been procrastinating. It has to stop. I'm disgusted with myself for not updating, and I promise you that the rest of the story _**WILL BE FINISHED**_. Sam and Freddie's story will have many twists and turns, I assure you.

Second of all, I wanted to let you all know that yesterday night, my computer broke down- with my Seddie file on there and everything. I'm going to get it fixed as soon as possible so I can get the lastest chapter of my story up there. :) I promise you that when I get it fixed, the first thing I'll do it post a new chapter up- I swear.

And finally, I want to thank everyone who has been reading- you are all te joy in my life. And have you seen the lastest iCarly episode? It's pretty epic! Thanks and apologies!

Sincerely,

Ali


	13. iWake Up

Three Months Later

I thought I had died, they had told me. I forced my mind to shut down with all of the pain and trauma. I wasn't really dead. But I wanted to be so badly. I still want to die. I had missed everything. I had missed the Girls Choice Dance, the rest of school, everything. I lost my virginity, three months of my life, my blood, my sanity, everything, because of Griffin. I was still in the mental hospital for examination.

Apparently I had been awake for a week now and in the mental hospital because I had lost it when I had woken up. I had thrown things and people, curled up into a ball and cried, and tried to swallow a bottle of pills. But I was coming back to my senses now, they had said. I was finally getting parts of my life back. And the best part was that I had needed no medicine to cure me, only a picture of my beloved.

They said when I saw the picture of him I regained my mental health. His picture brought back memories and I was getting better, slowly. They said my first words were, "Where is he?"

He wasn't there of course. He hasn't visited me here. No one has. And that just makes me want to tear my hair out and scream. But if I do that, I'll be in here for a very long time. The doctors were discussing if they should let me out or not, since I'm slowly recovering. They told me they're deciding.

As for Griffin, I just can't remember that night. All I know was that it was horrible, torturous, and it practically drove me insane. The police told me all of the details a few days ago. Well, they told me what they knew.

I had been missing for three days when they finally found my limp, unconscious body. Freddie had alerted the cops immediately, but wanted to get revenge. The cops met up with him and saw the baseball bat, and then they realized that he was trying to be a vigilante and told him that they he could not search for me. Freddie protested and turned in his bat, but he was furious and silent for the whole drive to the first forest they were looking for.

They had searched all of Seattle until they spotted my body on the ground, in the middle of a thick forest. All of my things were still there except for my t-shirt. When I asked the police why it was missing, they told me that psychopaths keep trophies of their victims. I shuddered. They said when Freddie saw my body he ran to it and checked for a pulse. When he realized that my heart was still beating, he cradled me into his arms and kissed my grimy forehead murmuring words and songs to me.

I was in a coma for a while after that. Griffin had escaped, but they were searching everywhere for him. I hoped that maybe he had fallen into a river and drowned, but the police told me that he was probably hiding out in the forest or something. That made me worried. What if he would come back? I almost felt that being in a mental hospital would be better for me. At least it was safer.

That still didn't stop the anger I had against Freddie. He didn't try to visit me at all. I had been in the mental hospital, awake, and he hadn't come to see me. Not one phone call, one card, nothing. Not even a message. My mom hadn't come either, but that wasn't a big surprise. She probably didn't even know that I had been in the mental house.

I heard the door in my room open and a fat nurse came in holding an envelope addressed to me. My spirits lifted. Freddie had sent me a letter! He wanted to talk to me! I felt like flying. I trembled with excitement as the nurse handed the letter to me.

"T-thanks," I said happily.

The fat nurse rolled her eyes. "Go crazy," she told me unenthusiastically. "Oh wait, you already are."

Even her sarcasm couldn't dampen my spirits. The nurse left the room again and I looked at the return address. My heart sank and shriveled into a little ball. It was a letter alright. It was from my mother. I wondered what the hag could possibly want as I tore the letter open and read it. There, scrawled in clumsy hand writing, read,

_Girl,_

_I got the damn medical bills. They're more expensive than hell. Get your ass into supermarket and start earning cash as cahsier or something. I ain't paying for no goddamn trouble you got your ass in. You better heal fast, slut, and stay away from my damn house. You said you got a boyfriend, right? Go live with him, you half-ass slacker._

_-Your mama._

_P.S. The stamps cost me two goddamn dollars. Send me the dough in the mail._

I flew into a rage and crumpled the letter into a ball and threw it against the wall. I hated that my mother. She was a stupid, horrible, nasty woman. I longed to be in Freddie's arms. Tears dripped down my face. Suddenly, my cell door opened again and another nurse and a doctor came in.

"Samantha Puckett," the bald doctor said. "We need to have a word with you."

Hesitantly, I followed the two out of my room. I was sane and they knew it.

* * *

She was still there. I knew it. I wanted to see her so badly. I wanted to grab her and make her feel loved. I wanted to spend my days with her at the park in the rain, where we would kiss and hug. I wanted Samantha Puckett. I wanted her to be in arms and I wanted to tell her that I loved her with all my heart and that life without her was hell. I should know. I lived through it for three months. But I just couldn't visit her in the hospital. I was scared. I was scared to see her weak, cold, and mentally unstable. It would drive me insane to see her hurl a pair of scissors at me, scream profanities at me, and while I told her I loved her, she would spit in my face.

I loved Sam. But I wanted to keep the image I still had in my head. I wanted to remember the smiling, blonde-headed demon with her sparkling blue eyes. I wanted to remember her punching me in the gut. I wanted to remember our first kiss on the fire escape. Call me a selfish bastard, but I didn't want to see Sam with her hair in knots, her eyes demented and furious, and her once-trimmed nails turned into long claws.

I sat in my room in my mom's apartment, debating on whether I should call and see what was happening. My cell phone was on my bed, and I ran my finger through my hair. If only I could talk to Carly. Before were stopped speaking to each other, she could always talk to us. I wanted to go to talk to her right now. It was possible that she was angry about iCarly, but I didn't care. I needed to talk to her again, even though I hated her guts.

It took me ten minutes to get the courage to knock on her door. It was opened immediately by a teary-eyed Spencer. I assumed her had heard about Sam. Spencer turned away and Carly took his place. It also looked like she had been crying.

"Do you need help?" she said, hiccupping with sobs. "P-poor Sam, is she hurt?"

"Why do you care?" I snapped furiously. "You hated her. You never even visited her in the hospital!"

Carly looked offended. Then her face changed. "I know tragedies make everyone crazy," she said soothingly. "But come up into my room with me. I want to talk."

I stiffened. "No, I don't think I need you anymore. I thought I did, but I didn't."

Carly grabbed my hand and dragged me into her apartment. Spencer was in the shower, I could hear it. Her eyes looked frenzied and desperate. She let go of my and closed the door quickly. I started to panic. What the hell? Carly flew towards me and started with a full-frontal make-out session. I could feel her lips moving against mine. My teenage hormones started to kick in. Damn it.

I was kissing her back too, but a nagging though ran through my mind. What about Sam?

"I need you," Carly whispered raggedly. I responded by throwing my mouth back against hers passionately.

We fell to the couch, running our hands all over each other. It felt so good. I heard a knock but I ignored it. Whoever it was could wait. Then the door opened, and I rolled off of Carly and saw Sam, dressed in a pair of jeans and a blue blouse, staring at me with hurt and shock all over her face.

I wanted to tell her that it was an accident, but I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. Sam's face was red.

"I thought I loved you!" she screamed.


	14. iFinally Have A Happy Ending

I released Carly, who fell to the floor with a bang. She knocked her head against the edge of a coffee table, and her eyes fluttered shut. I leapt over her and ran to Carly's open front door. Sam had already fled the scene. Desperately using all of my strength, I raced down the stairs to the lobby and saw Sam pause to look at me. The tears running down her face made my heart shatter. How could I be such a heartless bastard? How could Sam love me?

I watched Sam exit the lobby, but I ran after her. Sam turned and saw me following her, which made her run even faster. I started to lose my breath, and I cursed myself for not playing sports when I was younger. This is what happens when you don't exercise enough. I couldn't bear to lose Sam now.

Using my last bit of energy, I grabbed Sam's sleeve and pulled her to a nearby alley. Before Sam could protest or scream words of hate at me, I kissed her. Sam resisted all forms of affection and stomped on my foot. I yelped in pain and stood back from her. Kissing someone to make them silent usually worked in all the movies. Dammit, Hollywood.

Sam rubbed her blue eyes and peered at me. I looked at what used to be a strong, threatening figure and found myself, not disappointed, but sad for her. Her eyes now had dark circles underneath them, her face was thin and gaunt, and her full blonde hair was now flat and filled with knots.

But what really hit me the most was her personality. Samantha would hold her head up high and not usually care about what others thought of her. She played by her own rules, and she never backed down from a challenge. Griffin, the monster, had stolen this from her. Griffin stole the life out of my love, my only one true love.

The pain in my voice was evident when I spoke. "Sam," I mumbled softly. "Why did this have to happen, Sam?"

Sam looked at me with tears in her eyes. "You...don't love me…anymore, huh Fredweirdo?" Even Sam name-calling me would never be the same. Her heart wasn't in it.

"No, Sam, that's not true," I muttered, though I knew this wasn't my Sam anymore.

Samantha Puckett glared at me and bared her teeth. "D-d-don't feel sorry for me!" she stuttered. "You think I don't know what it's like, to have gone through a change? Every day for three months I've had to be in some kind of hospital, looking in the mirror, seeing someone different? I spend every night in my bed dreaming about Griffin attacking me, or you kissing me and either one of those dreams make me break down in freaking tears!"

I tried to swallow the depression consuming me.

"You wouldn't care, though Freddie! I waited, every single day I waited for you in the hospital, hoping, praying, and waiting that you would come to visit me, at least once! I thought that maybe you were busy, and I could stand the thought but not once, not once at all for months! And then they let me out, and I thought we could work things out, and I find you running your filthy paws all over Carly, and-and-you're an asshole!"

Sam didn't break down in tears this time. Instead, she drew herself up to her full height and looked me square in the eye.

"I think this should be the last time we speak to each other."

My heart sank. "W-what about high school; we'll speak to each other then, right?" I asked desperately.

Sam shook her head, and her curls flew everywhere. "I need to shed my old life and start a new one. I only remember you, Freddie, back when my life was simple. I'm moving away. I'm sixteen and I can start a life for myself now."

Then I did something, so pathetic, so passionately, I never regret it. I couldn't live without Samantha Puckett. My life was Sam's. My heart was Sam's. I couldn't be whole without Sam. If I let her leave without putting up a fight, I'd say goodbye to ever living a full life again. Then what would I go back to? Sleeping with Carly and then changing my mind about her? I had to live with Sam. I loved her too much.

So, with every ounce of love in my heart, I knelt down on one knee and grabbed Sam's hand. Sam's eyes widened as she realized what I was planning on doing.

"Samantha Puckett," I began. "I may have been an asshole in the past, but I truly, deep down in my heart, love you more than life itself. If you were to leave, I'd always miss you. And I hope you feel the same way. Would you…marry me, Sam? Forever and always?"

I closed my eyes and waited for the no, the final blow to my cracked and broken heart. Instead, it was silent. It wasn't a yes or a no, but something unexpected, and completely different.

Sam took both of her hands and held my face, studying me. My eyes opened and rested on her face. "Freddie," she whispered. "You know I love you with every fiber in my being, right?"

I slowly nodded, though I wasn't entirely sure anymore.

Sam began to stroke my face. "Good. Now, I'm not saying no. As much as I'd love to jump in your car and get to Vegas to get hitched, you and I both have lives ahead of us. We both need careers and lives and yes, a college education."

I was starting to get Sam's point. "So…you want to wait?" It made sense, really.

"That's exactly what I want. Let's graduate and do all that crap before we start even thinking about babies or marriage or anything like that."

I was starting to see a faint Sam smile and I returned it.

"I like that," I told her. "But being sensible was never really your thing."

"Shut up!" Sam laughed and she tenderly pressed her lips against mine. I kissed her back, savoring every minute of it. Then Sam's eyebrows creased and she gave me a slight frown. "You do know that I'm…going to have some issues, right? And…I'm not…" Sam blushed and looked to the ground. "Pure anymore, okay?"

I stood up and took Sam in my arms and she started to sob again. I pressed my hands against her hair and quietly soothed her. "We can work through the issues, okay Sam? I think we can work them out in six years before we get married? And Sam…" My voice dropped and I blushed deeply. "Griffin doesn't count. Not if…it was…forced…okay? You're still special for me."

"The first girl you ever screwed," Sam said with satisfaction.

I scowled. "Let's not be vulgar, alright?"

Sam nodded. "Why do you want me?" she asked. Her voice was quiet and thoughtful again.

I answered instantly. 'You're the first and only girl I've ever really truly loved. I loved your spunk, your interests, and even though we didn't get along–"

"That's an understatement," Sam murmured.

I bobbed my head up and down. "Even though we had fights, I loved you even more for punching me and kissing me and being yourself for me. You didn't have to change to please me, and face it, you played hard to get. And I loved you for all of that. That's why I want you Sam; do you need a whole book of reasons?"

"So you didn't love Carly?"

Thanks for all the tough questions, Sam, I thought.

I shook my head. "I was infatuated with her-but I never truly loved her."

Sam gave me an approving grin. "Good-Carly's a slut."

"Are we forgetting about the vulgarity?" I asked while doing a face palm.

Sam rolled her eyes. "No, Freddie-freak."

"Hey, now that I professed my love to you and begged you to marry me, you're still going to name-call me?" I was pretty damn shocked.

"You were fine when I called you an asshole. And no, things are still going to stay the same. Ask me again when I'm mature."

I groaned. "I'm glad you didn't say yes right now. I could use a few years without marriage."

Sam touched the tip of my nose. "That's exactly what I was thinking."

We both left the alley, hand in hand.

10 years later

Well here we are, 26 years old and married. Damn, Freddie can be very picky when it comes to house shopping, but we found a nice five bedroom, perfect for our family, which consists of three kids and the both of us. We've got two prissy (gasp) girls named Maggie and Annabelle, and a boy named Charles. I'm expecting another kid, but I hope it'll be a boy or a tomboyish girl, maybe.

I wanted name the kids Bacon, Eggs, Ham and the new one Wieners, but Freddie wasn't not up for that at all. Now that I see how the children turned out, I don't blame him. I don't think Annabelle would want to be called Ham, but it's still a juicy name.

As for iCarly and her host, once we got out of high school, we never spoke to each other again. Freddie and I still wonder about what happened to that crazy little drama queen, but we just don't know anymore.

We both graduated with great grades, but I don't work as a chef anymore. I watch the kids and give them delicious meals to munch on. When they're old enough, I'll try to get my own T.V. cooking show. Freddie of course, does all of the magical technical things for T.V. shows, and he makes and damn good salary.

I never spoke to my lousy mother again, but if my suspicions are correct, she's passed out in a bar with some other man. I hope that wench hasn't brought any more children into the world.

As for that scum, Griffin, I'm pleased to say that he was eventually caught, and sentenced to life in prison. While he had escaped, he attacked many more innocent girls like me, even killing one girl. That monster will never be a free man again, thank goodness, but I can't help but think of all the other lives he's destroyed, especially the life of that one dead girl. While I feel sorry for the girl, I'm grateful that I wasn't the one who had gotten killed.

The struggles I've had to face after the after the attack have been many, and sometimes it feels like the pains are still deep and fresh. I've been able to sleep at night, but even when I get nightmares, Freddie always holds me and calms me to sleep. I've had depression, but like I said before, Freddie is my anchor.

I believe that the first months while married were the worst, though. I couldn't bear to even touch Freddie during our honeymoon, and I know it pained him, but he managed to stay strong for me. We did a honeymoon remake after a few months though, and it was one of the best nights of my life. That's all I'll say, though. My lips are sealed.

My life is finally perfect. Freddie is coming home soon, and the children are nagging me for lunch. I really love the Nub, Freddie.


End file.
